In Time With You | Episode 09 | Recap

This was the first episode where Li Wei wasn’t popping off the screen, but Da Ren was doing a great job.

9th Sign of Aging: Finally understanding that God is really busy.


You Qing and Da Ren fight over the song lyrics. You Qing wonders if he wrote about her after seeing “I Might Not Love You” and assumes that he wrote a complaint about her. He even agrees with this figuring that her being mad at him is better than her reading the lyrics because he’s such a coward.


Da Ren and You Qing throw barbs at each other over dinner, which makes it awkward for all involved.

Li Wei: I’m jealous that you two have had such a strong friendship for so long. It’s rare to stay friends so long.
You Qing: That is because one of us must play the fool.
Da Ren: As long as one person is willing to take the “supporting role,” it’s not difficult for a relationship to last.
Li Wei: Then who is the idiot and who is the supporter.
Da Ren: You Qing can never be the support. She is always the center of attention, the main character. To be her friend you have to learn to walk in her shadow. You must learn to share a hatred for her enemies, obey her rules created on a whim, believe her to always be genuine and true. You must become the “punching bag” of her anger and the “well” of her sorrow. You must always grant her desires. Li Wei don’t be jealous of such a relationship. There are so many back-breaking responsibilities associated with being You Qing’s friend. Remain her simple boyfriend.
You Qing: Those who calculate their effort invested in relationships are such hypocrites. They just wish to stroke their ego, but leave an unpleasant taste.
Li Wei: You Qing, what’s wrong why aren’t you eating?
You Qing: I don’t feel like eating.
Da Ren: Don’t worry I’m used to her leftovers. Just another thing she uses for me.
You Qing: I’m taking all the leftovers home. Even the dish I don’t like. Just to spite you, Da Ren.

Maybe I wrote them throwing poisoned daggers instead of quills, but they sure aren’t tossing around fluffy rabbits.

I like the idea of Da Ren cleaning up You Qing’s leftovers. He gets her leftover affection and leftover time, but how often is he her first priority?


Li Wei gets upset at You Qing’s mood after dinner. He wants to know what is going on, but he isn’t really part of You Qing and Da Ren’s club. She tells him about Da Ren saying he’d written a letter of complaint about her. He wonders if it was worth the cold shoulder.

Li Wei: Why don’t you just use this argument to complete cut yourself off from Da Ren?
You Qing: I’m not the type of girl who falls in love and forgets her friends.
Li Wei: Are you sure that things with Da Ren are that simple. That you’ve never even had a crush on him? I can’t see any other reason you’d reject my proposal?
You Qing: What proposal? You can’t mean that lame speech in front of my parents.
Li Wei: If I really propose to you will you accept?
You Qing: I can’t tell you. That would ruin half the fun.
Li Wei: Just you wait.

Da Ren gets out his ukulele and this time we get some lyrics.

Thanks, PurpleLEE for finding these.

Da Ren’s Lyrics: I think I probably, probably won’t love you.
I tried hard, tried hard to not fall for you.
So I let myself like you,
So that way you won’t have the heart to leave me.
I think I hate, hate the arrogant you,
Also the wonderful, wonderful you,
That is why I let myself pretend to hate.
So you can’t bear to leave me,
I must say I probably won’t like you.

You Qing reads the half she received, but all she got was the end. She isn’t able to catch the whole drift when all she gets is “arrogant” and “you,” but she knows it is about her. Well it’s not like there is anyone more arrogant out there.


Da Ren pouts for the next few days taking his anger out on his family. It’s really odd to see him yell at them. Work is also tough and he ponders his frustrations.

Da Ren: Frustrated. Really frustrated with myself. Frustrated at myself for not know why I’m mediocre and unambitious. I’m frustrated not know what there is to fight for. I get angry over nothing. I’m frustrated for being defeated and rejected. Most of all I’m frustrated that I spoke those things aloud.


He calls up Li Wei to explain his words.

Da Ren: I want to make it clear. They You Qing I spoke of yesterday wasn’t the real You Qing. The term “egocentric” isn’t fair to her. I know she is arrogant, but she works hard and I can see the non-arrogant You Qing. At times she sees herself as inferior because she realizes that she is different from others. In this world no one can really understand her, so sometimes you need to be her mirror and let her see the true You Qing. She needs to be reminded of her flaws, but you have to remind her of her good points at the same time. You can’t make her change the habits she has already acquired because her little foibles define her. She loves when her heart races, but also hates it. I know you are an expert make her heart race, but don’t experiment on or play with her. She regularly needs chats and a can of beer allows her to be more mature. When she faces a difficult problem she doesn’t want to talk about she’ll hide in a book. Whenshe does this don’t bother her. She’ll calm down and come back stronger.
Li Wei: These suggestions make me nervous. Knowing someone that well is touching, but that isn’t your position. You don’t need to lecture me about how to take care of You Qing.
Da Ren: I don’t care about hurting your feelings and you don’t need to tread softly either. I’m just You Qing’s friend, a mere background in You Qing and you life.
Li Wei: I don’t care if that’s how you define it. You Qing is my girlfriend and you have no right to tell me how to love her. I’d like to ignore you, but you sent my girlfriend a text declaring your love. I have every right to care.
Da Ren: You saw her text, you sleazy man? Remember I’m at your right and left and can swoop in at any moment if you don’t cherish You Qing.
Li Wei: You Qing and I are getting engaged.
Da Ren: Engagement isn’t the end.
Li Wei: I can skip the engagement. We could elope.
Da Ren: Marriage also isn’t the end.


Henry proposes to La La with a giant balloon. You Qing watches her father and his simple love for his missing wife. She decides that she’s rather have the life time of small loving moments than the grand gesture.


You Qing visits her mom in the hospital and finds out that Da Ren was already there. Her mother is surprised that they are fighting to the extent that Da Ren wasn’t told. Li Wei stops by and as You Qing puts his bag away she notices a small box. He teases her with the ring, which is really for the wife of his boss. She is upset thinking he would propose so casually, but tries to convince him that she freaked out because she thought he might have another woman.


Da Ren apologizes to his mother and sister, but he still has one princess to please. Puppy dog following it is. You Qing actually smirks when she sees him following her out of the funeral parlor, but is upset when he disappears as she was about to confront him. He just went to purchase a drink though. They soon go back to their usual bickering. She tells him about the proposal and he asks how she would feel if she found out that someone secretly did something earth shattering for her.

You Qing would be upset that she didn’t get the chance to be touched. She tells him to never let her know that such a person exists or she’ll punch them twice. She has the feeling he’s hiding something and demands to know. He’s afraid at first, but admits that he slit someone’s tires for her.

He’s totally You Qing’s hit man. I can just imagine it.

You Qing: Kill the puppy and feed me the heart, 12 of 14, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 04.
Da Ren: Yes, my borg queen.

Did I just make You Qing a cannibal?


La La asks You Qing if it would be acceptable to ask Henry’s old girlfriends to be her bridesmaids. You Qing assures her that it wouldn’t be bad, but is surprised when La La is talking about the other ex. When asked why La La explains that Henry told her that You Qing had to be the center of attention and it was better not to have her be the supportive bridesmaid. She is so unnerved by this that she asks her other friends and they tell her the same thing. She even asks her plastic high school friend. They weren’t friends at the point. Her plastic friend finds out about the balloon proposal and You Qing says that a woman would be mad to reject such a proposal. Her plastic friend is confused since she rejected Da Ren even after he gave up a prestigious university to follow after her. This is You Qing’s first time hearing this and I’m guessing this won’t be the last time she’s surprised by something Da Ren did.


Keeping her promise to punch anyone who hid a grand gesture she punches Da Ren. He is confused and thinks it’s because he talked to Li Wei and tried to explain what happened at dinner. She wonders how much he’s been hiding from him. He explains away switching universities by saying that he didn’t want to study in that field.


The real reason he didn’t want to study that field was because You Qing wasn’t able to get in so he found out the university she was going to and applied. Not that he tells her this, but thinks to him self as she gets them beer.

She gets a call from Li Wei who wants both food and her. She calls Da Ren and offers him “leftover” beer time the next day. She makes the food for Li Wei who has already fallen asleep. She covers him with a blanket and leaves.


The next day Li Wei goes crazy seeing the beer cans You Qing left. He can’t get Da Ren’s words about You Qing drinking when she needs to chat out of his head.

Da Ren can’t get You Qing out of his head as he starts hallucinating and imagining her talking to him and popping up to mock him. Hallucinating is a good sign of insanity. Da Ren you are officially invited to my asylum. If anyone else wants to go crazy to join him feel free.


Da Ren goes drinking with his buddies. They are at various stages of relationships and complain about their women, but once they are drunk they confess that it is nice to have someone at home to give you a glass of water after you’ve puked. Da Ren is wasted enough to puke and imagine You Qing giving him a glass of water along with a good scolding.


You Qing is dragged to a work party by Li Wei. It’s obvious that this is very important to Li Wei, but equally as obvious that You Qing is bored out of her mind. She makes an excuse about going to the bathroom and sneaks out to call Da Ren.

You Qing offers to play the supportive role once for him. She’ll be the model bridesmaid for his wedding. Why do you just set the phasers to kill while you’re at it? You want to be involved in his wedding, but not as his bride? Wow, how could ever refuse that tempting offer.


Meanwhile Li Wei proposes to an empty toilet stall.


Finding his soon to be fiancé is a porcelain bowl he storms after her. He finds her outside takes her phone and tells Da Ren to leave them alone and tells You Qing that he just embarrassed himself proposing while she was out chatting with her best friend.

It’s loud enough that I’m sure Da Ren hears as he crumples against the wall and spends the rest of the evening shouting You Qing’s name off their cliff.


You Qing heads to work to work the next day, but finds Li Wei at the door having obviously been there all night. He looks horrible as he proposes. He grabs her hand and slips the ring on, but it falls off right away. You Qing suggests that it must be a sign that they aren’t ready. Trying to inject humor she even recommends they wait till she becomes fat.

Da Ren asks if the promotion in Singapore is still available.

9th Charm of a Mature Woman: Bravely tell yourself that this isn’t mine.


I’m really hoping that Da Ren will leave so that You Qing can grow up a little or a lot. This show really needs a time jump so You Qing can become a better person that deserves Da Ren or even better for Da Ren to go find a wonderful wife.

It was funny watching the drama actually explains how self-centered she was this week. I feel like this show actually looked into the future to see how fans would react to the characters and then wrote all the fan comments into the story.

Personally You Qing doesn’t bug me more than any other female lead. I’m used to disliking female leads. I could care less if a female lead dies, but if one of my male leads died, I’d cry. Please, don’t do that to me!

Exceptions would be:

  • Na Na from City Hunter
  • Haruhi from Ouran
  • Yoon Hee from Sungkyunkwan Scandal

I tried really hard to think of other female leads I liked.

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  1. Min says:

    Hmmm, a cannibal You Qing and her hitman Da Ren, I could dig that story, as long as she doesn’t send him after me to kill me… no scratch that, I’d wish that she could send him after me so that I could kidnap him and keep him for the rest of his life… hehehehe

    1. MadDino says:

      No. I want him in my asylum of crazy handsome men. Who needs a harem when you have an asylum….

  2. annie says:

    I like the idea of Da Ren cleaning up You Qing’s leftovers. He gets her leftover affection and leftover time, but how often is he her first priority? -> how very true… She forgot his birthday, and only came running to him when she had problems. But she did take care of him when he fell sick, which was a beautiful moment between them.

    I think this episode YQ finally learnt and discovered that she was self-centered and attention seeking, after the bickering with DR. Hopefully, this starts her thinking and noticing DR.

    I find it such a waste that DR just couldnt tell out that he liked her. Wondering if most of the guys are like him, so shy about liking a girl, and doing all the sweet things behind her back. Or is it just YQ being too self centered to notice it?

  3. Y says:

    You Qing was so unlikable in this episode. I’m getting frustrated with the lack of character development/plot movement :(

  4. Mrs. Handtowel says:

    OMG! Did I see Eugene (Material Queen)? All I can think about is how sleazy his character was…
    Now that YQ knows that people think she’s overly egocentric, she’ll finally get the hint and tone her antics down. Is she really so desperate that she’ll marry DLW even though he will make her life miserable? Anyways, I agree that DR leaving is the best thing that could ever happen to YQ…

    1. MadDino says:

      Why yes it is Eugene. The actor plays every single foreign old man in Twdramas.

  5. NN says:

    Thanks for your recap. Although many of us wish Da Ren would hurry up and ‘fess up already, You Ching should also be brave enough to take the lead and be true to her feelings for Da Ren which sort of showed in some previous episodes where she lamented it’s a pity Da Ren doesn’t love her. Too bad she’s stuck with DLW who’s clouding her senses.

  6. annie says:

    dear all, i have a question. Is it true that the brides will normally search for bridesmaid who are less attention-seeking/pretty than them? I always thought that its a norm for them to seek their best friends or sisters help.

  7. kaleido says:

    Thanks for the recap.. i just love love love the song… i like it because the lyric fitted so well to the drama.. and i like Bolin’s voice.. he does not have the most powerful voice… and the funny thing is that when i hear this song.. i really not thinking about Bolin the actor singing it.. but is DR singing… cute.

  8. Lander says:

    Finally got a chance to read this!
    Parts I loved and would like to requote here:

    “You Qing: Kill the puppy and feed me the heart, 12 of 14, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 04.
    Da Ren: Yes, my borg queen.”

    And “Meanwhile Li Wei proposes to an empty toilet stall.”

    Yes! I’m on Team ‘Da Ren leave” because things are getting hella boring and frustrating. Did not enjoy this episode as much because it seemed tjhe story moved at a snails pace!

    1. MadDino says:

      Star Trek reference was just for you my dear. I thought up a deeper analogy, but stuck to that one because it just worked.

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